Modelling positive relationships can go a surprisingly long way, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. If you do say something, make your meaning clear

• Read more Leading questions

My dear friend has turned out to be an appalling father. He has unmanaged anxiety, admits to being an alcoholic, is in a relationship of convenience with the mother of his child after deciding, whether unilaterally or mutually, that they cannot resolve their differences, and seemingly only notices the bad about his four-year-old son. His expectations of his son’s behaviour are unreasonable and his comments, in front of his son, about him are almost completely negative.

I’ve tried to talk to him about getting treatment for his anxiety, which he has not done. He lives with his partner as he has constructed a narrative that he cannot afford not to do so, despite them now communicating through a shared calendar.

Want to make your rental property feel more like home? These practical and affordable tips will have you covered

• 12 space-saving tricks to make small rooms feel bigger

Renting often means living with someone else’s design choices, from magnolia walls and tired carpets to ugly furniture. And the worst part is, you usually can’t do much about it. While social media is full of dreamy interiors and home renovation projects, most renters don’t have the option to knock down walls, retile a bathroom, or even paint without permission.

As someone who’s rented a string of different flats – furnished, unfurnished, shoebox-sized, and occasionally some with questionable landlord DIY – I’ve learned to get creative. Making a place feel like home when you can’t even hang up artwork makes those smaller, temporary changes even more important.

A travel guide on where to eat, stay and play as you journey along two great routes of the northern coastline, from Carrickfergus on the Causeway Coastal Route to Sligo on the Wild Atlantic Way

A classic road trip can deliver all the ingredients for the ultimate holiday: freedom, adventure and unlimited carpe diem delights. However, combine two epic routes together – the Causeway Coastal Route in Northern Ireland with Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way – and you’ll double up on unique attractions, incredible foodie stops and the most soul-soothing of landscapes. In fact, it’s little wonder that driving the highlights of these routes, from basalt cliffs to seaside saunas and from secret beaches to a legendary city, can have long-lasting wellness benefits too.

“An open-road holiday adventure can have immense mental health benefits,” says Donegal-based psychotherapist and mental wellness expert Roxane Mullen. “That sense of anticipation when road tripping, getting in touch with nature, and broadening your perspective through new experiences, are all proven ways of boosting mood and enhancing emotional healing and I think the Causeway Coastal Route and Wild Atlantic Way are the perfect settings to do just that.”

The Gobbins cliff path, County Antrim. Photograph: Dillon Osborne

Marnie has the tattoos all planned out, but Kady is having second thoughts. You decide who’s needling whom

• Find out how to get a disagreement settled or become a juror

We’ve been speaking about it for ages. She’s just getting cold feet, but I know she won’t regret it

What if I grow to hate it or want it removed? We don’t need matching tattoos to show we’re best friends

Each year, Chelsea sets garden trends – will this year’s ‘robust lawn’ made for canine companions pass the sniff test?

Can you hear it? That sound of the horticultural industry exhaling? We are at the end of the Chelsea flower show, AKA Gardening Christmas. Designers, contractors, nurseries, growers and gardeners have been beetling away building things, attending things, observing things from a distance and generally finding the whole event a delicious, exhausting, engaging, controversial affair.

Perhaps you pore over it on the telly, perhaps you brave the queues and the floral-dressed crowds, perhaps you ignore it entirely, but Chelsea does set the metronome and the bellwether for gardening trends that, like Anne Hathaway’s infamous cerulean sweater in The Devil Wears Prada, filter down to what we do in our own gardens several seasons later. Corten steel, Mediterranean planting, the rise of the wildflower, outdoor kitchens: all were spotted first at Chelsea.

Thinking about moderating your drinking? Sip smarter with our pick of the best mid-strength drinks, from crisp wines to award-winning pilsners (and even vodka)

• I tried 60 low- and no-alcohol drinks: here are my favourite beers, wines and spirits

These days, there are plenty of brilliant low- and no-alcohol options for when you want to stay off the sauce. But what if you’re wanting to enjoy a “real” drink – just minus the negative effects? Step up to the stage, mid-strength drinks.

For the uninitiated, mid-strength beers, wines and spirits occupy the space between the (very) low and no sector – which covers 0-1.2% alcohol by volume (ABV) drinks, whatever the beverage – and your standard alcoholic options. Expect to see beers and ciders around the 2-3% mark, wines at 6-9% and spirits at 15-20%, but there are variations on this, particularly with wine.

I’m partially sighted so birding has always felt out of reach for me. But a stay at Slimbridge wetlands centre learning to identify bird song helped me connect with nature

Silhouettes dart across a lake and the pale morning sky. Avocets screech high-pitched cries, defending their eggs from a squawking crow that circles above, while a barnacle goose with a barking call flies overhead.

There are 12 of us watching and listening on a dawn chorus workshop at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust (WWT) Slimbridge centre in Gloucestershire. Being partially sighted, birding has felt out of reach for me. But this morning is about identifying birdsong, and I’m curious as to whether this will help me feel a deeper connection with nature.

In a new video series on our It’s Complicated YouTube channel, we’re on a mission to untangle confusing everyday topics by speaking directly with experts

Whether you’re frying an egg or dressing a salad, cooking oils are a staple in most kitchens, but figuring out which one to use can feel strangely complicated. With conflicting advice all over social media, it’s easy to get lost in the swirl of hot takes: some say seed oils are toxic, others swear by extra virgin olive oil for everything. Coconut oil, butter, avocado oil – everyone seems to have a different theory.

In a new video series on our It’s Complicated YouTube channel, we’re on a mission to untangle confusing everyday topics by speaking directly with experts and asking the questions people actually have. In an upcoming episode, we’re turning our attention to cooking oils.

From luxury Simba and Otty mattresses to brilliant budget buys, here’s what we recommend – and how to know if you’ve found a good deal

• How to choose a mattress: the features worth paying for – and the ones that aren’t

A good mattress improves your sleep, say mattress makers – and they would, wouldn’t they? But they’re right. The older I get, the more I know it. When I was 20, I could sleep anywhere: a friend’s floor, a filthy sofa – even a phone box one night. These days, I won’t get a single one of 40 winks if I’m not lying on a decent mattress. Comfy but firm, cosy but breathable, and with loads of cool spots for my feet.

Today’s best mattresses promise all this and more. Gone are the days when your biggest decision was between a sprung double or a sprung king size. Pocket springs are still around, but they face stiff – well, medium firm – competition from hybrid mattresses that combine springs and memory foam to provide that all-important balance of comfort and support.

Best overall mattress:
Otty Original Hybrid
_{From £499.99 (single) to £874.99 (emperor) at Otty}

Best mattress for couples:
Simba Hybrid Pro
_{From £799 (single) to £1,399 (super king) at Simba}

Best budget mattress:
Ikea Valevåg
_{From £149 (single) to £359 (super king) at Ikea}

Discover your perfect coffee maker with our tried-and-tested recommendations, from top-rated brands like Sage and Nespresso to capsule and manual espresso machines

• The best espresso machines to release your inner barista

When it comes to something as earth-shatteringly important as coffee, everyone has an opinion. Some crave a single perfect shot of espresso, while others seek the milkiest latte; some love Starbucks and others, well, don’t. This is why the idea of there being a single best coffee machine is fanciful – everyone’s idea of the perfect coffee couldn’t be more different.

As a selfless service to coffee drinkers everywhere, I’ve spent months researching and trialling coffee machines to produce a shortlist of tried-and-tested recommendations. The list spans all the main types of coffee maker: manual espresso, filter, bean-to-cup and capsule (not sure what all of this means? Read our dedicated guide to the different types of coffee machine).

Best manual machine for beginners:
Sage Bambino Plus
_{£350 at Argos}

Best low-effort coffee at an affordable price:
De’Longhi Magnifica Evo One Touch
_{£419.99 at Lakeland}

Best for simple filter coffee:
Moccamaster KBG Select
_{£212.99 at Amazon}

Best for capsules:
L’or Barista Sublime
_{£59.99 at Amazon}

Best low-effort premium coffee:
Jura C8
_{£672 at Appliance City}

Best capsule machine for long coffees:
Nespresso Vertuo Plus
_{£116.47 at Amazon}

Smooth, brighten and rejuvenate your undereyes with these hard-working buys for every budget

• The best mascaras for longer, fuller and fluttery lashes

‘The eyes are the window to the soul,” as the saying goes. Yet as well as communicating what we’re thinking and feeling, they can also reveal clues about our age, lifestyle and health – presented as some of the most common eye concerns, including puffiness, dark circles, fine lines and wrinkles.

The good news is that today’s eye cream and serum formulations can go a long way to address those issues when used as part of a daily skincare routine. Many products do more than simply hydrate the area around the eyes; next-generation formulas work harder and smarter, combining science-backed ingredients with skincare tech.

Best eye cream overall:
Medik8 Crystal Retinal Ceramide Eye
_{£42 at Cult Beauty}

Best budget eye cream:
The Inkey List Caffeine eye cream
_{£7.95 at Sephora}

Best eye serum for puffiness:
Charlotte Tilbury Cryo-Recovery eye serum
_{£47 at Sephora}

Best eye cream for dark circles:
Tatcha The Brightening eye cream
_{£64 at Space NK}

Best eye cream for fine lines:
SkinCeuticals AGE Advanced Eye
_{£105 at Look Fantastic}

Getting little ones outside can be an uphill struggle – here are the gadgets, gear and games real parents rely on to make it easier

• 55 screen-free activities, from birdwatching to colouring books

Marathons? Pfft, easy. If you really want to test your mental and physical endurance, try taking a reluctant toddler up a hill. I was ready to yield to circumstance after our first few attempts at a family walk. Prepared to accept that my active, outdoorsy days were behind me and go full cartoon-dad mode, sprawled across the sofa, surrounded by fried potato snacks. Thankfully, I’ve since learned that there are various tools, gadgets, gizmos and tricks designed to help me avoid this fate.

Getting a proper backpack-style carrier changed everything for us (see below). And having spoken to lots of parents of young children, I’ve heard plenty of similar tales involving other miracle buys. Below are a few of the best.

Disruption to online shopping could derail retailer’s successful pivot to cater to fashion-focused customers

In September 2019, as Marks & Spencer fell out of the FTSE 100 for the first time, its then chief executive, Steve Rowe, described the retailer as having a “reputation for frumpiness”. Just six years later, thanks to clever campaigns, unexpected collaborations and a focus on catwalk-influenced pieces, the retailer has transformed itself into the go-to fashion destination for high street shoppers.

Annual results, released on Wednesday, showed a 22% rise in pre-tax profits in the year to 30 March. Overall sales were up 6% to £13.9bn with fashion and homeware increasing 3.5% to £4.2bn.

The trick is to remember they have more in common than they have differences – and you’ll be seeing a lot of both this summer

Are you team spot, or team stripe? They resonate on different frequencies, in a subtle sort of a way. They are not exactly opposites, but they are not interchangeable either. Not chalk and cheese, but perhaps a bit like salt-and-vinegar and cheese-and-onion. Just different flavours.

A stripe is brisker, while a spot is giving whimsy. I guess there’s some old-fashioned gender stereotyping mixed up in that, because stripes are worn by everyone, whereas spots are almost exclusively found in women’s fashion. Stripes feel robust and functional, while spots are daintier, more playful.

Debate over ‘chic’ has erupted online as luxury-minded TikTokers push a definition that aligns with the Maga set

The idea of “chic” is a fashion-world cliche. At best it is a know-it-when-you-see-it vibe, at worst a lazy adjective chosen by a writer to describe something that reminds her of Jane Birkin. It feels inoffensive enough. But now, “chic” has become something of a lightning rod online – a shorthand for a type of conservative-coded aesthetic.

It began last month, when a creator named Tara Langdale posted a video to her TikTok following of just over 30,000 in which she sipped from a long-stemmed wine glass and read off a list of things she finds “incredibly UN-chic”. Wearing stacks of gold bracelets and a ballet-pink manicure, Langdale called out fashion choices like tattoos, Lululemon, visible panty lines, baggy denim and hunting camouflage as unchic, because, to her, these choices seemed “cheap”.

Piccioli’s appointment comes after the departure of controversial former creative director Demna in March

Pierpaolo Piccioli has been named creative director of the renowned Spanish couture house Balenciaga, the latest in a series of moves across the upper echelons of the fashion industry. The appointment follows the departure of controversial former creative director Demna to Gucci in March.

Under Demna, Balenciaga became known for a “memecore” approach to high fashion, creating novelty garments from towel skirts to handbags shaped like coffee cups. Piccolli’s appointment suggests a shift away from this approach at the respected fashion house, which was founded by Cristóbal Balenciaga in 1919.

Festival’s rules designed to protect ‘decency’ and seating arrangements stir controversy among those who read them

Not for the first time, organisers of the Cannes film festival, the ritziest and most photographed in the industry’s calendar, have decreed that various outfits will not be allowed on the red carpet this year.

An official statement released earlier this week stated that for “decency reasons” there will be “no naked dressing” – and no oversized outfits either – “in particular those with a large train that hinder the proper flow of traffic of guests and complicate seating in the theatre”.

Struggling label produces upbeat parade of greatest hits on home turf while Demna completes stint at Balenciaga

If rebirth is what you want then Florence, home of the Renaissance, is a good place to start.

Gucci, which has just switched designers after a period of plunging sales – 24% down in the last quarter of 2024, and 25% down in the first of 2025 – showed its latest collection in a catwalk pageant that began in the 15th-century Palazzo Settimanni, where the actors Paul Mescal, Viola Davis and Jeff Goldblum, a Florentine resident, had front-row seats, and continued outside to where Gucci employees and local fashion fans, seated in bars and cafes, watched an alfresco lap of the show. If you hit the factory-reset button in Florence, and make it glamorous, can you call it a renaissance button?

Ten years of hard graft have come to this triumphant moment: the puff pastry cream cake per eccellenza

Every now and then, a local restaurant called La Torricella has millefoglie among its regular offerings of lemon sorbet, tiramisu, pineapple-cut-into-a-fan, and pine nut or vanilla gelato with strawberries. Customers are very likely to have spotted the millefoglie long before seeing it typed up on the paper menu, though, because it will be sitting near the front door, either on the dessert trolley or zinc bar.

Named because the concertina puff of the pastry looks like a thousand (mille) leaves (foglie), La Torricella prepares a millefoglie that is more or less the size of a vinyl LP, its three rings of pastry sandwiched with a mixture of custard and whipped cream, otherwise known as diplomat cream. The layers of preparation make it a special-occasion dessert – in fact, La Torricella makes millefoglie only when a large enough group requests one. The rest of the room, however, then benefits from someone else’s celebration, because the kitchen might as well make two while they’re at it. Or at least I think that’s how it works.

Fun, low abv and actually rather delicious, these single-serve cocktails may be the coolest thing since alcopops

A trip to a dive bar over the weekend has left me riddled with despair. It was the first time in quite a while that I’d left a house party to Go On Somewhere Else™, and when I arrived at 3am, I noticed that all the other customers were so young.

None of them was even alive for the millennium bug, yet they all wear low-rise jeans. While my friends and I sing Avril Lavigne’s Complicated with eye-watering sincerity, they join in ironically. Hell, they even show their top and bottom teeth when they smile. And, at this party, they were also all drinking BuzzBallz, curious little single-serve drinks that are becoming as prevalent as tonic wine in that small category of bottles you regularly see balanced precariously on windowsills on a Sunday morning.

Use up those final scrapings to make goma dare, a versatile sesame dipping sauce that adds a kick of flavour to salads and soups

A jar of goma dare is a new favourite fixture in my fridge door. This Japanese-style condiment, dipping sauce and dressing made from ground sesame seeds is powerful in flavour, sweet, sour and creamy all at the same time, while the addition of grated ginger and/or garlic makes it wonderfully piquant, too. It’s also very moreish and hugely versatile, meaning you can serve it with everything from a traditional shabu shabu hot pot to cold noodles, tofu, aubergine and slaw; in fact, it’s so tasty I have to stop myself from eating it straight from the jar. My recipe uses the leftover tahini in the bottom of a jar and comes together in the jar itself, so minimising both waste and washing-up. Simply add all the ingredients, scrape down the sides and shake (you can apply a similar method to the ends of a peanut butter jar, too, for a nutty, satay-style twist).

American-style flaky scone-sandwiches filled with mango and cream, and a light but punchy pistachio tiramisu

When mango season is upon us, I love nothing more than thinking of as many waysas possible to eat them. It’s hard to beat the joy of messily eating one over a sink, but these flaky, American-style shortcakes, which you may recognise as similar to scones, are a brilliant mango delivery method. Meanwhile, there are few things that pistachio doesn’t improve, and here pistachio cream, which is conveniently fortified with sugar and fat, and emulsified to a smooth, spoonable paste, is paired with coffee in the form of an airy tiramisu to feed a crowd.

Perfect for easy entertaining, these party-friendly pastries can be enjoyed seedy, cheesy or even with peas, says our panel of pastry experts

Filo pies are my go-to for entertaining, but what are the best spring fillings?
The wonderful thing about filo pies and tarts is that they look fancy even when they’re knocked up from just a handful of ingredients, they require little more than a green salad to please and, much like the rest of us, they really do benefit from some downtime. “They’re even better at room temperature because the flavour evolves,” says Rosie Kellett, author of In for Dinner, which also makes them perfect for dodging any last-minute entertaining scrambles.

Kellett likes to wrap as many spring greens as possible in filo, along with cheese and hot honey butter. “The key to getting a really delicious filo tart or pie is a flavoured butter,” she says, so, rather than simply painting melted butter between every filo sheet so it goes nice and crisp in the oven, she also adds honey and harissa. (In a similar vein, if your pie or tart involves mushrooms, take your lead from Feast columnist Georgina Hayden, who uses butter flavoured with thyme and Marmite.)

Got a culinary dilemma? Email feast@theguardian.com

These summery snacks are based on the popular pintxo, only with the chilli blended into an artichoke tapenade that’s spread on toast and topped with the olive and anchovy

Gildas are such a lovely pre-dinner snack: really good olives and anchovies on a stick, with any number of variations, such as artichokes, sun-dried tomatoes, bits of cheese … The one I had most recently, at Brett in Glasgow, was beyond wonderful, and featured chicken fat-topped croutons and homemade green chilli sauce with plump Perelló olives and anchovies. Inspired by this, I made a lemon-spiked green chilli and artichoke tapenade for hot focaccia, topped with the same excellent olives and the best anchovies.

It’s all too easy to say something crass or insensitive to someone who is going through IVF – as I discovered when I was. Here’s how to open your mouth without putting your foot in it

It is estimated that one in seven couples in the UK will experience difficulties conceiving, and many will go on to have fertility treatment. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA) reports that more than 1.3m IVF cycles have been performed in the UK since 1991. I was 32 when I first underwent treatment, and I didn’t know anyone else who had been through it. Six years on, a quick headcount of IVF-enduring friends almost reaches double figures; we can no longer consider it rare. If you have friends, family or colleagues in their 30s and 40s, it is highly likely that some will be having IVF (that is not to say that no one younger will be – it is just statistically less likely: the average age is now 36).

It can be difficult to know what to say to someone who has shared that this is their path to potential parenthood – the outcome possibly exciting, possibly heartbreaking. From my experience of that challenging time, there are comments that can boost and others that, however well intentioned, can sting.

In the latest twist in the Goop candle saga, the famous creation, which retailed at $75 in 2020, is now on offer at $400 on eBay. Not bad for a product that started out as a joke

I have a foolproof way to make millions. It’s a little tricky to execute, but hear me out, OK? Step one: find a time machine. Step two: travel back to 2020. Step three: quickly, before they all get nabbed, buy the entire stock of the This Smells Like My Vagina candle that Gwyneth Paltrow notoriously sold on Goop for $75 a pop. Then come back to 2025 and sell them on eBay for $400 each. Seriously, that’s what they are going for now. We’re talking a 433% return!

How do I know this? Not, to be clear, because I am spending my evenings searching for vagina-scented candles. No, I know this because the chatter around Paltrow’s candle is impossible to fully extinguish; it keeps popping back up in the news. In 2021, for example, there was a big hoo-hah because a Texas man claimed that the candle exploded on his bedside table. No one was injured but a lawsuit was filed for the Texas man and others who “through no fault of their own, bought defective and dangerous vagina-scented candles”.

Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.

Dreading the thought of giving a speech, or stressed about a big work event? Your GP may prescribe beta blockers to reduce the effects of adrenaline on your heart. Here’s what happened when I took them

I first took beta blockers two years ago, when I was asked to give a eulogy. Terrible at public speaking on a good day, let alone at a funeral, my first instinct was to refuse to do it. I had made a speech at a friend’s wedding 15 years before and my legs shook so violently throughout that I thought I would collapse. This isn’t a case of being overcritical or dramatic: I find it almost impossible to stand up in front of a crowd and talk. It is an ordeal, for all involved – or it was before I took beta blockers.

Beta blockers are a prescription medication that blocks adrenaline and therefore temporarily reduces the body’s reaction to stress. Routinely given to patients with heart and circulatory conditions, including angina, atrial fibrillation and high blood pressure, as well as to prevent migraines, they are also prescribed for some kinds of anxiety. Some doctors will suggest taking them regularly, at certain times of the day. Others will suggest taking a specified dose when you feel you need it. “They work by reducing the effects of adrenaline on the heart, so you don’t get that heart-racing feeling, you may not get short of breath or sweaty, and they can reduce the symptoms of a full-blown panic attack,” says doctor and broadcaster Amir Khan, who has been a GP in Bradford for 16 years.

Talking therapies save lives, keep people out of hospital, help them back into work. So why is NHS England cutting them in its ‘financial reset’?

I was moved to read of the grief expressed by so many at the brutal felling of the Sycamore Gap tree. I found it surprising. Not the crime itself: I know well the unconscious drive we all have within us to destroy good things – the most valuable, the most beautiful, the most life-affirming things. What took me by surprise was the capacity that so many people found within themselves to express their devastation and anger at this painful loss, not only to us as individuals, but as a nation.

On the day the perpetrators were found guilty, I was reeling in my own private grief. I’d just read a different news story that told of another brutal cutting-down: again the destruction of something beautiful and valuable with deep roots, that stood for growth and possibility and life. The article, on this website, told how among other “savings”, talking therapies services are to be cut “as part of efforts by England’s 215 NHS trusts to comply with a ‘financial reset’”.

When Mary Ann Kenny lost her husband, she hoped therapy or medication would help. But soon she was losing touch with reality – and panicking about what she might be doing to her two young sons

Mary Ann Kenny first met her husband in 2000, at a conference in Dundee. “It was a coup de foudre – ‘a bolt of lightning’,” the 60-year-old languages lecturer says with a smile. “We had finally found what had taken both of us a very long time to find.”

John was from Chester, Kenny was from Dublin, and the couple had a long-distance relationship until he moved to Ireland to live with her in 2008. “We had our two small kids, our lovely house, our friends; it just seemed like we had all our ducks in a row. It had taken a long time to get there – we had our kids a little bit later in life – but I felt that everything was perfect. Then John left my life just as suddenly as he entered it; one day he was there, then he was gone.”

From preparing a ‘goodbye ritual’ for your old home to securing your new front door, Rosie Mullender asked a panel of property experts to share their golden rules for a smooth transition

Moving house is notoriously stressful, and amid the chaos of packing up your life it’s easy for small details to be forgotten. If you can dot the Is and cross the Ts of this exciting new chapter, it can make waving goodbye to your old home and settling into the new one a whole lot easier. So we called on experts from across the industry to give us their professional secrets.

While they all agreed on the importance of packing a bag of essentials to keep with you on the big day (think a kettle, underwear and loo roll), they each had their own unique takes on how to make the process a little bit easier. Here are six golden rules to go by …

You’ve just been handed a fresh set of keys – but how do you make your new space feel like your own? Here are some handy tips to help you create the most welcoming, comfortable and cosy environment possible

There aren’t many moments in life when you’re given the opportunity to start afresh – but moving house is definitely one of them. This will be your clean slate for the next chapter of creating memories with loved ones, getting to explore your chosen change of scene, and enjoying the different features or amenities your new property or location brings with it. What’s more, it’s also the perfect excuse to enhance your home environment while you’re at it.

This can manifest in multiple ways – possibly depending on what your previous abode was lacking. Perhaps it will be flexing your creative muscles by designing an eye-catching interior aesthetic, or finally curating a space that lends itself to organisation. Maybe it’s opting for greater luxury when it comes to essentials, and installing thoughtful tech for stress-free living. Here are four ways to help make your new house a home.

Whether it’s welcoming housewarming party guests or making sure you don’t miss an important package, a Ring video doorbell can help reduce the pressure of the big move and allow your mind to rest easy

Consider the most momentous dates in your life. Milestones such as your final day at school, when you walked down the aisle, and your 40th birthday are likely to spring to mind. However, the handful of times you move house over the years should certainly count among them too. After all, whatever your reason for moving – perhaps upgrading for more family space, or switching up location for work – it’s almost certainly the start of an exciting new adventure for you and your loved ones. Which means you’ll remember the tools that helped you feel most welcome.

Indeed, brown boxes and packaging tape aside, there’s a new house move essential on the block. A Ring video doorbell is one of the first things you’d be wise to install after signing on the dotted line – and you’ll be amazed at how easily it elevates your experience of settling in. With seven different Ring video doorbells to pick from, there’s one to suit everybody, but the Battery Video Doorbell Pro is a particularly useful tool for those who have just been handed a fresh set of keys. Loaded with a bunch of security features, the Battery Video Doorbell Pro will make sure the transition into your new home is as smooth as possible. And with its clear-eyed view of everything that’s happening on your doorstep, you’ll always be aware of the goings-on around your new home – whether it’s day or night. Here are four reasons why the Battery Video Doorbell Pro is your best friend when moving house.

Things such as introducing your furry friends to their new surroundings slowly and setting up smart security cameras will help keep them calm and safe through the disruption of a move

It’s well documented that moving house can be extremely stressful – and this applies to your pets too. Cats and dogs are truly creatures of habit, so they can find the upheaval of a house move very unsettling. But the good news is, there are lots of ways you can make the transition easier for them.

We spoke to Brook Nelson, a registered veterinary nurse at Animal Magic Family pet retreat, to find out how to make moving house as calm and safe for your furry friends as possible. Here are her five top tips …

Brandon, 28, and Christine, 27, became close friends when they worked together at a Covid testing lab. Now they live in different countries, but make time to continue their friendship

When Brandon and his boyfriend moved to London from Wales in April 2021, there wasn’t much going on. With the city under lockdown, he took a job in a Covid lab at Gatwick Airport. “I was processing PCR tests for people who were travelling,” he says. “I didn’t know anyone in London except my boyfriend, but luckily the team I was working with were great.”

In June, they were joined by Christine, a biology graduate who lived in London and had transferred from the PCR testing lab at Heathrow. “When I arrived, they seemed like a tightknit team, so I was a bit anxious about fitting in,” she says. “But Brandon was super friendly and that drew me to him straight away. I really wanted to be his friend.”

The medication he’s on reduces his libido and means he can’t take erectile dysfunction products. But I’m a very sensual person – what can I do?

I started dating someone I really like about two months ago. We click on all levels and he adores me, but he has some complicated circumstances, which means we have no sex life. He has anxiety and takes SSRIs, which reduce his libido. He also takes blood thinners for a coronary issue, which I know precludes the use of erectile dysfunction products. He has also said that he never really felt a lot of lovingness from his previous partners. He says he’s attracted to me and likes my body. He kisses me to show his interest and attraction but not in a heavy making-out way.

I am a very sensual person. My former partner and I had the best sex I’ve ever had in my life – however, he could be very distant at times and had poor emotional intelligence and communication with me (unlike my current partner). I have never had this issue with anyone else, so although I understand his vulnerability, I’m unsure what else to do other than wait. For now, I am willing to be patient.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.

There are genuine concerns about young people using social media, but the main thing is that you talk to your parents about it
• Every week Annalisa Barbieri addresses a problem sent in by a reader

My mum has always been protective, and I fear it is destroying my social life because I haven’t grown up with much access to social media. I don’t mean to say it’s OK to be exposed to social media at a young age, but it needs to be controlled in a certain way.

Because I had a flip phone until the middle of secondary school, I haven’t had a TikTok or Snapchat streak with anyone because I never learned how it works. I know this might sound like me complaining over nothing, but it sometimes feels like my mum is purposely doing this to damage me.

William, 24, a business development manager, meets Lucy, 25, a doctor

What were you hoping for?
An evening with someone fun, full of character and full of conversations.

Rising from the Po valley to the green Apennines, this little-visited region has good living down to a tee, with its fine wines, great food and historic villages

‘Look at the colour,” says tasting expert Carlo Veronese, sitting at a restaurant table in the village of Bosmenso. “Check how flexible it is, then give it a sniff and think about what you smell.” Only after we have given proper attention to appearance, structure and aroma do we taste the speciality before us.

We are not trying fine wines, however, but what many say is the world’s best salami: salame di Varzi, made in 15 villages around the town of the same name in south-east Lombardy.

Case came to supreme court after court of appeal determined the term ‘open-air recreation’ included camping

Wild camping will be allowed on Dartmoor after the supreme court ruled that a multimillionaire landowner was wrong to ban it on his land.

Dartmoor was – until the legal action – the only place in England where wild camping without the permission of the landowner was enshrined in law. In Scotland, people have enjoyed this right since 2003.

A boat trip to Denmark’s South Funen archipelago takes in the North Sea coast, the historic Kiel canal and the Baltic before delivering its crew to an idyllic island rich in maritime culture

A south-westerly wind blew us to Ærø. This little Baltic island (pronounced Air-rue) in Denmark’s South Funen archipelago is home to some 6,000 fortunate residents who enjoy free bus services, shallow swimming beaches and picture-perfect villages. The 54 sq mile island has a history of building sailing ships and there is an excellent maritime museum, so it seemed appropriate to arrive on a historic wooden sailing boat, Peggy, a Bristol pilot cutter built in 1903.

“We’re going to Ærø without a plane,” quipped one crew member as we set the sails on leaving the German Baltic port of Kiel. Our overland journey from the UK had started with a 12-hour train trip from London to Cuxhaven, a German port on the North Sea; a short taxi ride to Cuxhaven marina; an overnight stay on Peggy in the marina; and then a two-day transit of the Kiel canal, the busiest in the world by number of vessels, with some 35,000 ships transiting annually.

Since the 2016 peace treaty, Mesetas has embraced its natural assets and visitors have flocked to enjoy the region’s unique biodiversity. But the threat of violence is never far away

• Photographs by Antonio Cascio

Ten years ago, violent conflict made it impossible for tourists to enjoy the natural riches of Mesetas. The town was one of the centres of the armed conflict that ravaged Colombia for decades, claiming nearly half a million lives.

But since the historic peace treaty in 2016, with efforts to uphold it now led by the leftist president, Gustavo Petro, the people of Mesetas have had their hopes raised for a better life, thanks to those natural assets.

With a stunning coastline, brilliant surfing and a B&B in the forest, this quiet corner north of the Algarve makes for an idyllic break

‘I declare this the best beach in the world,” my youngest son shouts, leaping from a three-metre-high dune on to the soft, golden sand. We’ve come to Praia de Monte Clérigo to watch the sun sink into the sea, and stumble upon a bay ripe for play with a babbling brook, rock pools, gentle swell, towering cliffs and rolling dunes. As I gaze across to colourful fishers’ cottages circling a simple beach bar, I can’t help but agree; this could indeed be the world’s best beach.

“Why’s it so empty?” my son asks. It’s a good question, given the beauty of our surroundings, but we soon realise that having the place to ourselves is a common occurance on our slow adventure exploring Portugal’s least-populated coastline.

A UK supermarket has launched a practical wedding gift list that includes bin bags, shower gel and toothpaste. It’s not surprising given the cost of getting married today ...

Name: Wedding lists

Age: Invented in Chicago 101 years ago.

Reader is willing to pay original sum but says no one should be fined for stopping for just over 2 minutes

In February, I parked briefly outside a clothing store to visit a nearby shop. As soon as I entered, the shopkeeper informed me that parking was not allowed in that area.

I immediately returned to my vehicle and left. The total duration of my stop, according to the parking charge notices (PCNs) I received the following week from Euro Parking Services (EPS), was just two minutes and 24 seconds.

Reader accuses reselling site of giving customers no recourse over quality issues after sneakers began to fall apart

In January, I bought a pair of designer “snakeskin” trainers by A Bathing Ape for £300 from the online reseller StockX. Several years ago I had the same pair and loved them.

Unfortunately, a few weeks after I started wearing them, I noticed the leather was peeling, and I contacted StockX to see whether it could help. I found its response unsatisfactory.

Reader says they are still trying to find a resolution with Ticketmaster after buying tickets as a Christmas present

In early December, I bought two day tickets for Leeds festival 2025 from Ticketmaster as a Christmas present for my grandson.

After completing the purchase I discovered it was not possible to transfer the tickets. There was no indication of this when I made the purchase.

Bills continued to arrive despite calls, emails and legal firm handling probate sending copy of death certificate

My sister passed away nearly two years ago but I am struggling to get British Gas to accept she is dead.

Since her death in July 2023 I have emailed, called and even got the legal firm handling probate to contact it. They sent a certified copy of her death certificate but all that happened was the address on the account was changed to the solicitor’s.

When confirmation for £1,215 booking arrived it showed date had reset to January and not July, when Euro 2025 is on

This summer I am travelling with a group of friends to Switzerland to support the Lionesses during Euro 2025. At the start of this year I tried to book our accommodation in Zurich on my phone via Booking.com.

But while I was doing it I got the “spinning wheel of death” and when the confirmation for the £1,215 booking arrived from the hotel it showed the date had reset to January and not July, when the tournament is on.

Reader from London worries ‘cuckoo’ will potentially trash credit score and hitch a ride when switching supplier

Around a year ago I noticed that my account on the British Gas app had acquired a new address in Glasgow. I have only one house and it is in London.

I called up its customer service number and I was told someone would look into it. I waited patiently but nothing happened, so I tried contacting the company via various emails I found online but still received no reply.

Offer announcing charges for use in EU seems incongruous to customer stripped of free calls and text add-on

I have received a text message from EE stating that it is “shaking up its roaming products”, with a link to a page announcing that “roaming is getting better with EE”.

The “better” offer appears to be a daily £2.59 charge for roaming in European countries – seemingly replacing the free calls and texts previously included in my plan.

After previously paying £518, quote comes as shock to loyal customer who has made no claims in many years

In February, we received our home insurance renewal quote from Co-op Insurance for the coming year, and were shocked to read it would near-triple from £518 to £1,353.

We have had buildings and contents cover with the Co-op since 2012. Our circumstances have not changed and we have not made a claim for many years.

A slight rejig of the crosswording week means you won’t go a day without a challenge

Not so long ago, we moved the quiptic – the Guardian’s “puzzle for beginners and those in a hurry” – so that it appears on Sundays. We had no way of knowing it at the time but this has recently proved to be a boon as the subsequent departure of the Observer’s puzzles to their new home left us confronting the unacceptable possibility of there being a horrible day when a new puzzle does not appear at this site, in our app and so on. Not on my watch!

So now the quiptic has an extra role: our crosswording week in effect begins – in gentle mood – on a Sunday. Incidentally, sometimes solvers remark that such-and-such a puzzle is “actually harder than this week’s prize”. It is entirely possible for this to happen. A solver who only has the time to tackle a puzzle at the weekend should not always have to deal with that week’s most beastly crossword. A Saturday puzzle might be tricky; it might also be witty, or timely or charming in some other way. But not always the week’s knottiest challenge.

Click here to access the print version.

Fill the grid so that every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the numbers 1 to 9.

Click here to access the print version.

Normal sudoku rules apply, except the numbers in the cells contained within dotted lines add up to the figures in the corner. No number can be repeated within each shape formed by dotted lines.

From Tsar Alexander II and Queen Anne to Korky the Cat, test your knowledge with the Saturday quiz

1 Which king’s sister, wife and lover were all called Edith?
2 Korky the Cat was the first cover star of what in 1937?
3 Which fabric is made from flax fibres?
4 What type of holiday is named from a Swahili word for journey?
5 Who orchestrated the FTX fraud?
6 Maria Mitchell, in 1847, was the first US astronomer to discover what?
7 Which west London stadium hosted one game of the 1966 World Cup?
8 What is the lowest composite number?
What links:
9 Tasmin Archer; Frederick Delius; Gareth Gates; Zayn Malik; Kimberley Walsh?
10 Buenos Aires; Canberra; Luanda; St John’s; Tirana; Vienna; Yerevan?
11 Beds; cream; espresso coffee; quotation marks; window glazing?
12 Borghese; David; François; Medici; Portland; Warwick?
13 Hawaii (1); Sicily (2); Thailand (3)?
14 The future Tsar Alexander II; Queen Anne; future Edward VII; Edward Smith-Stanley?
15 Beryl Bainbridge’s Master Georgie and JG Farrell’s Troubles?

The answers to today’s puzzles

Earlier today I set these two puzzles. Here they are again with solutions.

1. Go compare!

The photographer Sarah Lee has made her annual visit to the RHS Chelsea flower show in south-west London to revel in the floral delights